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Topic: Beating myself up!

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Jenkski
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Beating myself up!

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Ok,

I am going out on a limb here. I have never seen a forum dedicated to MY past mistakes, so this is great. I am truly one that never lets my own mistakes go in life. I re think them all the time and I am so tired of it.

They can be the smallest things of saying something stupid or treating my past boyfriends terrible. I never let them go.

I haven't really discussed this with anyone so this is a first. It is scary to try and go into detail becasue I am embarrassed, so this is a start.

Wheww... that was a little tough for me to say, but it is so true!

Marie

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Sallyjo
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Hello Jenkski,

I beat myself up all the time! It almost seems like just habit any more and I just  get in this downward spiral.

I start out trying to stop this but by the end of the day I am beating myself up again. It usually is how silly my ideas are and my dreaming is stupid.

I want more in life and feel so stuck. It  doesn't help that my heart is broken right now either. [read my other post] ...Maybe I am focusing on too much right now..

thanks for listening.

ok, ok... one thing at a time...

Hang in there!

Sal



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Jenkski
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Hey Sal,

How are you doing? I went and read your other posts after reading this. I am so sorry for what you are going through. That must be terrible! Sometimes guys are just jerks!

Marie

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Jenkski
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I think I know I lash out and keep people away from me. Then I hang on to them and beat myself up over them.

I have this past boyfriend who I know I tested so much with how harsh I was to him and he stuck around for awhile. Then when he dumped me I couldn't understand why. I am starting to think this is some sort of pattern. I am sick of it, but it is the only way i know how to be.

Marie

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Sallyjo
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Marie,

Thanks I am doing better, but still hurting bad. I bought that can't shake the sad assignment in the ehelper library. I really like it! I felt like I didn't know where to turn, but this gives me clear help on what to do from each day forward.

There is alot to it but I am taking this slow.

Thank you for your concern.

Sal

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Jenkski
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I have been working on a journal with my thoughts and it isn't fun. I am finding out that I don't have the most positive attitude towards anything. That is scary when I think of it.

I ordered that Pocket of pearls workbook and I am hoping it will help me change things.

Sal, I am glad you are getting better. It sounds like that work you bought is doing well for you.

Keep us posted!

Marie

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Crazier5
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Hey Marie,

I got my workbook recently and really  like it! You have to be honest with yourself though, but she makes it kinda painless for you. I am using it for losing weight and body image I guess. I have a terrible voice inside my head and have for years.

I caught myself the other day about my big butt again, and it wasn't nice. I actually was proud of myself or even stopping myself and being nicer. That is a first for me!



You should try it, I am really likeing this workbook.


Gina

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Sallyjo
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Welcome Gina! I haven't read your posts yet. I am back on this board and reading my past posts and happy to report I am 'better'. Still hurting, but definitely better. This site is awesome and I plan on sticking around....I just want to be happy again.

Sal

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Sallyjo
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Wow! I am a Veteran member now... very kewl!

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Jenkski
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Hey all!

Checking back in with you all. I have gone through two Pocket of Pearls journals now and they are amazing and tough. Its tempting to stop after a couple weeks, but I am sick of quitting things when it gets hard. I am my own worst enemy! I knew this on some level before, but this journal helped me give myself permission to be nice to ME! As bad as this sounds, I never really thought of this before or thought I should be nice to me. It sort of woke me up to how bad I really am to myself and not just to the people around me. It scared me at first, but the support throughout this book was nice at the right times.

Great book! I am so glad I found this website and going to check out the other services too. Get a workbook! I highly recommend it!


Marie

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davidgcarpenter
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profile.jpg
It is so easy to beat ourselves up! The guilt comes rushing in and we descend into the feelings of worthlessness, being of no use to ourselves or any one else, and end up feeling miserable with no self esteem.

What I've found useful to get out of that way of being is:
First: Accept that we did it.
Then: Love that we did it.
By that I mean to really understand that there is always another way of looking at anything. We always have choices. We can choose to look at anything in many different ways. So, reframe the behavior in a way that is empowering.

Example: Instead of saying "I spent the whole weekend doing nothing but watching movies on Hulu, and made no effort to improve my business or my income." cry

I reframed it to: "It is so nice to treat myself to a mini-vacation and spend time pampering myself." biggrin

Same Action, Different way of looking at it; the former dis-empowering, the latter empowering.

Result: Instead of descending into negative feelings, we lift ourselves into better feelings.
And - Our self esteem is enhanced instead of being brought down.

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